I love this shot of Jim with our cousins Nina and Henry Houston… it really could have been John and me… Jim’s spirit has not changed.
I’ve been needing to write this for a couple of days and just didn’t have it in me to tell you all how close we are to Jim’s time. He lost the ability to swallow well on Tuesday, so there has been no food or hydration for a couple of days now. John was with him Monday night for spaghetti and meatballs which were much enjoyed.
Jim’s sleeping most of the time now, but is still present when his fans show up. There has been a powerful light burning in that man for 68 years and it’s hardly faint, even now. I want you all to know how beautiful he looked tonight – even through labored breaths, in a hospital gown, in a hospice bed – absolutely radiant! I mean young! …handsome! …and vital with an energy beyond good health… the whole room was full of his warmth… golden. We all felt so calm and clear and so available to just love him and hold a true feeling of good wishes for whatever he needs… whatever is to come.
And driving home tonight, we talked about all the stories we’re hearing about Jim and how we’re experiencing him so fully in this letting go. What continues to come up is how much he inspired people. What has been coming up for me is an awareness of how he truly enjoyed the simple things in Life and what giving there was in most of those acts – like carrying biscuits for unknown dogs (you know they can be counted on for sharing and appreciating the gift!) Or his maverick tulip planting expeditions to the forgotten corners and islands of Storrow Drive – just to bring in a little beauty. At home it was simple meals, prepared with care… do you know he made our lunch everyday he was able throughout our high school years? We were 17 and embarrassed by the way he’d put our names on our bags -but there was no denying, the man knows how to make a snack.
Even in this, Jim is teaching us, giving us the experience of how to be useful, how to be good, how to do the next right thing – and if you don’t know what that is, just do the next thing right. It is strangly from him that we gather our strength in this… I don’t know why I’m surprised. I just didn’t know it could be like this.
And in all this, I am coming to understand what it is to want to memorialize someone. And how the biggest honor we can offer in this light, is to do those things that they did… in our own way, be like them. From what I know and am hearing from all of you, there are many ways to honor Jim and carry on the marvelous way he has showed up in this world. We don’t all have his humor, but we can all access his kindness. I hope you all will.
April 11, 2008 at 11:23 am |
Dear Nancy, Betsy and John,
Thank you so much Betsy for your efforts on this blog and keeping us all updated on Jim. Your writing is so beautiful! I check this blog daily. Not only have you kept us updated, but you are giving me a wonderful opportunity to get to know a different aspect of Jim. I have worked with Jim at Beacon Hospice for a year and have really enjoyed getting to know him and his humor. But now I feel that I am learning about his love of children, flowers and most of all, his family. Thank you.
Please know that my prayers and thoughts are with you all daily. Thank you for allowing us to be part of this time with Jim and all of you.
Mauret Brinser
April 11, 2008 at 12:01 pm |
Oh, dear Bets and john and Nance,…that was a hard read, but made easier and given a larger meaning by your description of all that Jim is and what he has been about. You are so right Bets and that is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen written about a dying loved one. One remembers the young Jim, funny, handsome, full of life…..and later one realizes he has gown into this kind and caring and loving dependable rock in your life. Still funny, still full of life, but with so many rock solid aspects to who he is. I am glad you can see all this now. I’m so glad that Jim is not in pain. But so sorry he has to leave us all. You are in my thoughts and prayers and heart. Love, Ellen
April 11, 2008 at 3:00 pm |
Dear Nancy, Betsy & John,
Unfortunately, I joined St. Aubin, Haggerty after Jim had left but fortunately through stories from Donna and Dana and Jim’s visits to the office, I did get to know and meet him. It was always a special occasion when Jim would call and say he was in town and stopping by. We would always so look forward to seeing him. He would light up the office with his presence and great jokes and stories. Jim, Nancy, Betsy & John, you are all truly amazing, I’m praying for your continued strength and courage.
Claudia Masterson
April 11, 2008 at 3:13 pm |
Please know my thoughts and prayers are with all of you. It is clear that Jim loved and enjoyed all aspects of life – a life lesson for all of us. How wonderful that you can learn new stories and hear about old fun times again – this is what provides us solace and comfort and helps the life of our loved ones live on. Thank you for sharing with us. Take care of each other. Love, Candice
April 11, 2008 at 3:34 pm |
Dear Haggertys,
Our hearts and prayers are with you. Jim, and all of you are an example to us all. We love you.
Love,
Amanda
April 11, 2008 at 3:58 pm |
Betsy, I feel that I should be offering comfort to you & John and Nancy and yet you are providing such inspiring thoughts & comfort in this most upsetting time. You certainly are using your talents as a writer to the fullest. You know that our thoughts & prayers are with all the Haggertys.
Love, Aunt Jackie & Uncle Chuck
April 11, 2008 at 4:58 pm |
I want to send my sincere sorrow for you and your family at this time. I have worked with Jim for the past 6 years at beacon and truly miss my occassional time I got to spend with such a terrific human being. My prayers are with him and your entire family. I have monitored this site since word of it got out and I want to thank you for sharing this with all of us, Jim was an inspiration to me and looking back at the times I did share with him, Im grateful to have told him that personally. I will continue to keep Jim and your family in my thoughts and prayers everyday. Sincerely, Tom Viveiros
April 11, 2008 at 5:51 pm |
Dear Nancy, Betsy, and John,
I am so glad that you have the Tippet house for this time with Jim–what a rare and special gift…we need more of such places in our country and culture. Betsy, your writing is beautiful, and allows me to know your Dad better, although the few times i was in his presence he had the radiance and glow that you describe even now, in these times where taking a breath and sipping water can be a tremendous task. You are all so strong and loving–Jim is so lucky to have you at his side.
The pictures are great…didn’t know the rugby history, and the flower stories! I love sunflowers and tulips, and will always think of Jim now when i see one. Thank you for sharing.
You are all in my heart and prayers every day during this very difficult time. Keep up your amazing, grateful, and positive attitudes as you experience these moments that will be cherished memories forever. I wish you all peace and white light and the strength and courage that is no doubt a big piece of your husband and father. Much love, Sarah Mead
April 11, 2008 at 6:49 pm |
OH HONEY!!!!!!
Beautiful thoughts and stories about a wonderful dad. We love you girl. Big kisses to that handsome, studly guy, with that adorable smile and laugh, Jim Haggerty. And much love to Nancy and John.
Your pals in Norcal,
Betsy & Jim
April 11, 2008 at 9:09 pm |
Hello to all. Many of you probably don’t know me but I have known Jim for about 5 years now. I worked as an account executive at a health care publication and Jim was one of my clients. Being in a sales position for many years, I have come across many wonderful clients but I have to say that Jim is my favorite. The first time I met Jim, I was struck by how caring, honest and wonderful he was. I was also impressed with the amount of respect his colleagues had for him. Over the past 5 years I have gotten to know Jim and although I was always the one “pestering” him with phone calls to buy advertising or help me find a speaker from Beacon Hospice, he always spoke to me with sincerity and respect.
Over the past couple of weeks I have had the wonderful opportunity to meet Jim’s wonderful daughter Betsy and beautiful wife Nancy. I am completely amazed by the strength in these women and by the amount of love they share with everyone who knows Jim. I met Betsy when I went to visit Jim at MGH. I was afraid to go into his room because I didn’t know the family and was unsure of Jim’s condition. Betsy came out in the hallway and I told her who I was and how I knew her dad. After just meeting me for a minute, she took me under her wing and proudly brought me in to see her dad. The emotion I felt when I saw Jim and his “award winning” smile is indescribable. It is a moment I will never forget. After spending time with Betsy and Jim, I felt so at ease and at peace because the visit was just wonderful.
I had the chance to meet Jim’s wife earlier this week when I went to visit Jim at the Tippett house. As soon as I walked in Betsy greeted me by name and Nancy introduced herself and gave me a great big hug. It was as if I was part of the family. I also met a close family friend that day who took me under her wing too. So much love! Nancy and I went and sat with Jim for a while. Again I felt so at ease and at peace being by Jim’s side and feeling the amount of love in the room. I told Nancy how I knew Jim and told her that he was really an inspiration for me.
Jim is a wonderful man who touched many people throughout his life. He is an angel. He should be very proud of the life he has lived and even more proud of his wonderful family who truly loves and adores him. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Kim LaMontagne
April 11, 2008 at 10:07 pm |
Dear all,
Thank you again. Thank you for reminding us all that it is indeed all about this love of which you write and share even in fabulous photos. We are here walking with you and holding Jim near our hearts.
God bless, Julie and Bob Hooper
April 12, 2008 at 12:02 am |
What joy it is to read your blog entries and to see the comments from so many people, like me, who have been so fortunate to have Jim as a part of our lives. There are many lessons here; be yourself and make the unique contribution that only you can make, love your family and find the small ways to show it every day, give to others naturally as Jim has and discover the joy in others growth, and laugh, laugh, laugh – there is much joy and happiness in the simple things and the stories of our lives. God bless you, Jim, you have given us so much.
Mel and Laura Ingold
April 12, 2008 at 1:04 am |
That is a great Jim picture! It’s true that Jim has always been a great playmate. When Amy & I were talking about how lucky we have been to have Jim in our lives (thank you Nancy for picking out such a fabulous uncle for us!), I had so many images of Jim joking around – whether it was acting out some name when we were playing “celebrity” at the house in Miami – or Jim telling a story at the cabana. On the charades — I have a distinct memory of Jim doing an airplane — and I think the answer was Richard Branson. And everyone got it right away. Such a Jim moment – completely hamming it up, making us all laugh, and being so creative and smart about it. Thinking much about you guys right now.
April 12, 2008 at 1:33 am |
Dear Nancy, Betsy and John,
I never met your dear Jim, but through you, Nancy, know of the love you all share. Claudia called me tonight wondering if I knew about what had happened and I was so glad she did. I’ve felt lost at what to do. I didn’t know what to say. When I read the email I just cried for all of you. Just hearing Claudia’s voice and loving words helped me to be able to write here and say I think of all of you and wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better. There are so many of us with you now and I hope you can feel us and take strength and love and courage from us whenever you wish….it’s an endless stream that flows for you and always will.
April 12, 2008 at 4:41 am |
Bets, This photo brings back great memories of the fall on Asbury St. Remember the purple Holy Cross flag that we raked the leaves on to carry out to the street? That is Dad at his best- making work fun too. Simple pleasures are the best, and Dad has such a gift for truly appreciating them everyday. I think I fed him his last supper with the spaghetti and meatballs- swallowing was starting to become a chore yet he gave me the “this is good stuff” look that I know from a lifetime of feasting with him.
I am so proud of you and the way you are telling Dad’s and our family’s story. I have been going down memory lane everyday the last few weeks- Thanks for bringing out yet another great time in our lives growing up with our Superdad Dad.
Love, John
April 12, 2008 at 1:09 pm |
One of the highlights of our special family gathering in Sept. was knowing Jim and Nancy would be there. When they walk into a room it gets brighter, the conversation changes, people are drawn to them. They are both warm, caring, interesting and a joy to be around. We all enjoyed watching them interact and take pleasure in each others stories. For my mother just the thought of Jim brings a big grin to her face..she will say “what a dear man and aren’t they lucky to have one another”. I have my own special memories..I can run it in my head anytime. It brings joy and sadness. For me he remains a gentle giant
April 12, 2008 at 9:36 pm |
Dear Nancy, Betsy, and John, Peter and I pray for Jim every day. We think of him with warmth and gratitude and great sadness. Ellen told me how wonderful Tippett House is. It sounds like it’s filled with love. Betsy, you write so well. Your description of your father was beautiful. As I have known both Nancy and Jim since I was 8, I feel a tremendous amount of affection for both of them. Having them with us on the Cape in Sept. for Mom’s 90th was very special. I am so sorry this is happening. It is so hard to imagine the devastating effects of this disease on this funny, warm, charming, robust man, who is loved by so many. Take good care of each other, and find strength in Jim’s love for all of you. We continue to pray, and to hold all of you in our hearts. With much love, Christy
April 13, 2008 at 3:35 am |
Nancy, Betsy and John.
There’s not much more to add to all that has been said. I cherish my own memories of Jim.
Please know you are in our thoughts and prayers.
Cecil and Vanessa
April 13, 2008 at 4:32 am |
Hey Bowtie Jim,
It was good to sit alone with you this morning. Needham was quiet and peaceful, the azaleas are starting to appear, and the day was promising to be lovely and warm. I was happy to still be there when your brothers and their wives arrived. I saw your likeness in both of your brothers’ faces, and it made me smile.
Godspeed, Jimbo,
Karen
April 13, 2008 at 4:10 pm |
Hello all,
I was working with a friend of mine the other day and was telling him about Jim and what was happening. He said – “i am sorry about that…” I sat for just a second before responding… “Thank you, but you know what? I take a little comfort in the fact that if I had to name 5 people that I knew who had many more good days than bad – this fella would be at the top of that list.”
I don’t know if my perception is true, but if it is off, then Jim is also the best actor I have ever met. I can not recall being more light hearted and welcomed by anyone’s presence, at least he is amongst a precious few that I never feel I have to protect my flank or be concerened by judgement.
There is an image that continues to creep into my head, and I think this is the image I will always have of him. At my wedding reception he had some dear friends of mine (of course I sat him and Nancy at a “cool” table) in absolute hilarity as he wrapped his dinner napkin around his head in a feeble attempt to pass himself off as a girl for the bouquet toss. I wasn’t there for the experience – but recounted it on the video and it made me so happy to see my friends sharing the humor of someone I had known my whole life.
Jim represents something deep within all of us that is very special and the fact that he is better at it than most is no surprise. This cornerstone that serves as the bedrock of all of our connections is to be disarmingly funny and silly and self-deprecating. It is the equivalent of being submissive without being undignified. I know for a fact that every time I see Jim I can’t help but smile and wait anxiously for his next comment or action and am staggeringly dissappointed when I miss it!!!
I, for one, have and will continue to honor unique individuals like Jim by doing the things that he would do – making starngers feel comfortable, make people in despair laugh, and be warm and kind to all those I love and hope to love.
The fact that Jim has been in my life for even a second is more gift than I could ever have asked from God and am thankful to have had it.
I hope that you all are doing as well as possible and my prayers are with you.
Much love and happiness.
Charley
April 14, 2008 at 1:23 am |
Dear Nancy, Betsy, and John, Peter and I pray for Jim every day. We think of him with warmth and gratitude and great sadness. Ellen told me how wonderful Tippett House is. It sounds like it’s filled with love. Betsy, you write so well. Your description of your father was beautiful. As I have known both Nancy and Jim since I was 8, I feel a tremendous amount of affection for both of them. Having them with us on the Cape in Sept. for Mom’s 90th was very special. I am so sorry this is happening. It is so hard to imagine the devastating effects of this disease on this funny, warm, charming, robust man, who is loved by so many. Take good care of each other, and find strength in Jim’s love for all of you. We continue to pray, and to hold all of you in our hearts. With much love, Christy
April 15, 2008 at 2:29 am |
Betsy/Nancy, Just dropped a note on the Picture site about Grtty Jim Haggerty article I wrote for the Crusader in Oct 1960. Betsy had referenced that piece,but frankly I forgot I composed it ,until I saw it today. I was away all last week at Medical Conference with no Internet access. The Lord is merciful even in the midst of disaster. As with my daughter Kate in Oct 2000,when the “Game was up”, the end was swift and pain free, but my heart was heavy then, and will be now sustained by the belief of the Truth extoled in Vita mutatur , non-tollitur”, Life is changed , Not ended ,
In Hoc Signo vinces, Jack Verdon’61
April 16, 2008 at 2:01 am |
WOW again..I’m numb…Betsy, you have a wonderfull gift of expression. Thank you for your updates. The good Lord must have needed a really GOOD man, to call Jim so quickley.Our prayers are with you and for you. Love to you…Dave and Madelaine
August 6, 2008 at 10:50 pm |
Dear Nancy and Haggerty Family
I just learned of Jim’s passing yesterday (Aug 5) from an old Vitas friend. I am terribly sorry for your loss. Jim will always be bow tied and smiling in my mind. He taught so many people so much about not just business but how to live life. I will always be grateful for having known him.
Allen Schmalzer